Leveling, dueling, crafting potions, getting fired from your day job, getting dumped by the considerably large girlfriend you settled for… these are all basics in the life of a World of Warcraft player. But in the following stories, the game not only interfered with the player’s social life, but actually got up and smacked him across the face screaming “Dude, get a life!”.

5. Norwegian 12 year old boy survived a moose (elk) attack by using feigning death

In World of Warcraft “feigning death” is a skill acquired by hunters at level 30 that allows them to take a page from the possum playbook, collapse to the ground, and convince their enemies - who lose all ingrained animosity in the process - that they’ve died. Believe me, it took me a while to get around this information. So anyways, long story short: Hans Jørgen Olsen, a 12 year old Norwegian boy survived a moose attack by feigning death, “just like you learn at level 30 in World of Warcraft.”, according to his claim.
Looks like the little guy and his sister were wondering around in the local forest, managing to get a moose (or elk, I should say elk, that’s the European moose) extremely pissed off. Then, our little Dwarf (sorry, that’s the only class in World of Warcraft that I know) decided to try and get the elk’s attention by screaming and jumping around so his sister can get away then, when the animal came towards him, he played dead well enough to trick the not-so-bright moose. I mean elk.
Though seemingly in this case World of Warcraft may appear to have saved a life, my take on this is that 12 year old kids shouldn’t play Wizard in the woods. They were probably playing “instance”.

4. Guy - married with kids - needs “intervention”

Here’s a quote from the guy himself on a World of Warcraft forum: “my kids were no longer getting my full attention. My wife was getting me part-time. My job was not getting my full attention. Even my friends with whom I’d go fishing were seeing less of me. I had my ‘online friends’…but eventually I had to recognize that, as nice as they were (and they are all great folks), none of them were going to be there for me in the hard times of life. I was not spending time with folks who really cared about me, in order to hang out with folks who thought I was a short, bald gnome. There really is a substantial difference between sitting down to dinner with real friends and raiding a dungeon in an online world.
Basically, within about two weeks of my friends’ challenge to me, I didn’t quit altogether, but I decided to step back. I gave up my role as an officer and a raider. After that, I quickly played less and less…I couldn’t keep up with the rest of the guild, and found that as I got involved in other real-life hobbies, I couldn’t focus on keeping up with all of the changes (patches), as much as I used to. And the game lost it’s glory and power over me. About two weeks after that, I logged on for the last time.
I hope that if any of this story resonates with your experience you will consider the cost of passing up Real Life for a fantasy one. Seek help if you need to. Ask your Real Life friends (who AREN’T gamers) to help you quit if that’s what you need to do.
Go out, and enjoy LIFE!”
Epic…

3. Chinese teenager burns rival and blames “the voices” of World of Warcraft

A 17 year old Chinese high-school student covered his class mate in gasoline and lit him on fire after losing a schoolyard fight with the latter. Questioned about his reasons, he claimed it wasn’t him that did it, but rather the “Fire Mage” he turned into. While I believe that the said Fire Mage should be arrested no matter what guild he’s a part of, I should be a little serious and declare that - in this particular case - the game probably has nothing to do with the perpetrator’s sociopathic ways. The Chinese apparently thought the same as - while not forbidding the game or anything - they put the guy away for eight years. The Fire Mage is yet to be found.

2. Wife hooks up with World of Warcraft friend, putting the whole marriage in danger

This one really cracks me up. Here’s the story written first hand by the very idiot that married her in the first place:
“I find all of this a bit strange. My wife is addicted to WOW. I don’t know what to do. she plays with every free moment she has. Ever since BC came out she has been playing nonstop. My problem with it is all the time dedicated to playing. She spends more time with her online friends, which are all guys, than she does with me. I have also found that she has one of her online friends phone number and they are conversing out of the game.
I am at my wits end. I feel i should call this guy and let him know she is married and not on Wow to hook up but i am afraid of what the consequences of doing that will be. I am this close to filing for divorce. And when i do i will send blizzard and dell a thank you for ruining my marriage. without them (blizzard and dell) i think i would still have my wife.”
He’s thinking of blaming Dell and Blizzard. Right on. I would try and punch in a few suggestions of my own: blame Haulmark for making trailers. If it wasn’t for those guys, her parents would not have had a bed to conceive her in the first place. Blame Graham Bell for inventing the telephone. Blame McDonald’s. Blame Bush. Blame the founding fathers.

1. World of Warcraft player got beat up in his own house

Mexican World of Warcraft player Bronco Carson reported to local police that 3 men broke into his home and beat his arms with clubs and smashed his computer. It was supposedly in retaliation for Carson stalking and repeatedly killing one of the attackers wife’s character during computer video game play. Carson admitted that he might have made a mistake by sharing his real life address with the victim of his online attacks and that he did it because he thought that the woman’s husband would be man enough to face him alone. Honorable eh? Must have been a Barbarian or something. At least that’s what strong characters were called like in the old Diablo days.