Ted’s Game

Not many men out there are happy with their single status, they’re either crying for their long lost pickle or they simply had a long, lonely, socially unsuccessful life and they’re quite depressed about it. Well, you gotta take time and look at the bright side, because sometimes even the happiest married or involved men out there long for some bachelor delights.

Drive a 2 seater

Think about it. If you’re married or wanting to have kids with a woman, she’ll end up making you buy a minivan. She’ll be like: “Johnny, you’ll drive a Voyager and love every minute of it!”. Then people will profile you as a slow driving, mid-life suburban responsible father, instead of the wild, free, independent and self-assured man that lies inside of you. Bonus suggestion: you might as well buy a mean bike too, but there’s no guarantees that you’ll stay single for long.

Blow your money on geeky stuff

You don’t need to learn that from me, but a chick that’s closely involved in your life will certainly not appreciate the beauty of an USB missile launcher like you do. Instead she’ll ask you to go buy her mascara, flowers, cotton candy or groceries for her mom. Bonus information: if you’re a loaded single guy, treat yourself to your own gaming room. You’ll never need a girl again.

Eat forbidden foods

When in a relationship, you’re repeatedly nagged about your eating habits. Having a burger every once in a while won’t kill you like she says, so go ahead and knock yourself out. It’s not like you have to confess about it when you come home and hear the lecture about how that’s gonna lead to your untimely demise, thus leaving the kids without a father model (not that she wouldn’t get married one year after anyways).

Start a blog
Not the best thing in the world, but being single should make it better, what else are you gonna do on a Saturday night? Who knows, maybe you’re the next hot thing and you’ll end up making millions. Bonus information: you can write very sexist stuff on your single’s blog, no one’s gonna get mad at you.

Dream on
The difference between the taken guys and the free birds is that the latter can always dream big. Try your luck, flirt on, have fantasies, play life cool. You know, they calculated that the single man’s career has a 37 % better chance of being successful compared to the average married guy. Bonus information: be a money making machine and you won’t stay single for very long and then you’ll have to go and buy mascara, groceries, diamond earrings….