5. Norwegian 12 year old boy survived a moose (elk) attack by using feigning death

In World of Warcraft “feigning death” is a skill acquired by hunters at level 30 that allows them to take a page from the possum playbook, collapse to the ground, and convince their enemies - who lose all ingrained animosity in the process - that they’ve died. Believe me, it took me a while to get around this information. So anyways, long story short: Hans Jørgen Olsen, a 12 year old Norwegian boy survived a moose attack by feigning death, “just like you learn at level 30 in World of Warcraft.”, according to his claim.
Looks like the little guy and his sister were wondering around in the local forest, managing to get a moose (or elk, I should say elk, that’s the European moose) extremely pissed off. Then, our little Dwarf (sorry, that’s the only class in World of Warcraft that I know) decided to try and get the elk’s attention by screaming and jumping around so his sister can get away then, when the animal came towards him, he played dead well enough to trick the not-so-bright moose. I mean elk.
Though seemingly in this case World of Warcraft may appear to have saved a life, my take on this is that 12 year old kids shouldn’t play Wizard in the woods. They were probably playing “instance”.

4. Guy - married with kids - needs “intervention”

Here’s a quote from the guy himself on a World of Warcraft forum: “my kids were no longer getting my full attention. My wife was getting me part-time. My job was not getting my full attention. Even my friends with whom I’d go fishing were seeing less of me. I had my ‘online friends’…but eventually I had to recognize that, as nice as they were (and they are all great folks), none of them were going to be there for me in the hard times of life. I was not spending time with folks who really cared about me, in order to hang out with folks who thought I was a short, bald gnome. There really is a substantial difference between sitting down to dinner with real friends and raiding a dungeon in an online world.
Basically, within about two weeks of my friends’ challenge to me, I didn’t quit altogether, but I decided to step back. I gave up my role as an officer and a raider. After that, I quickly played less and less…I couldn’t keep up with the rest of the guild, and found that as I got involved in other real-life hobbies, I couldn’t focus on keeping up with all of the changes (patches), as much as I used to. And the game lost it’s glory and power over me. About two weeks after that, I logged on for the last time.
I hope that if any of this story resonates with your experience you will consider the cost of passing up Real Life for a fantasy one. Seek help if you need to. Ask your Real Life friends (who AREN’T gamers) to help you quit if that’s what you need to do.
Go out, and enjoy LIFE!”
Epic…

3. Chinese teenager burns rival and blames “the voices” of World of Warcraft

A 17 year old Chinese high-school student covered his class mate in gasoline and lit him on fire after losing a schoolyard fight with the latter. Questioned about his reasons, he claimed it wasn’t him that did it, but rather the “Fire Mage” he turned into. While I believe that the said Fire Mage should be arrested no matter what guild he’s a part of, I should be a little serious and declare that - in this particular case - the game probably has nothing to do with the perpetrator’s sociopathic ways. The Chinese apparently thought the same as - while not forbidding the game or anything - they put the guy away for eight years. The Fire Mage is yet to be found.

2. Wife hooks up with World of Warcraft friend, putting the whole marriage in danger

This one really cracks me up. Here’s the story written first hand by the very idiot that married her in the first place:
“I find all of this a bit strange. My wife is addicted to WOW. I don’t know what to do. she plays with every free moment she has. Ever since BC came out she has been playing nonstop. My problem with it is all the time dedicated to playing. She spends more time with her online friends, which are all guys, than she does with me. I have also found that she has one of her online friends phone number and they are conversing out of the game.
I am at my wits end. I feel i should call this guy and let him know she is married and not on Wow to hook up but i am afraid of what the consequences of doing that will be. I am this close to filing for divorce. And when i do i will send blizzard and dell a thank you for ruining my marriage. without them (blizzard and dell) i think i would still have my wife.”
He’s thinking of blaming Dell and Blizzard. Right on. I would try and punch in a few suggestions of my own: blame Haulmark for making trailers. If it wasn’t for those guys, her parents would not have had a bed to conceive her in the first place. Blame Graham Bell for inventing the telephone. Blame McDonald’s. Blame Bush. Blame the founding fathers.

1. World of Warcraft player got beat up in his own house

Mexican World of Warcraft player Bronco Carson reported to local police that 3 men broke into his home and beat his arms with clubs and smashed his computer. It was supposedly in retaliation for Carson stalking and repeatedly killing one of the attackers wife’s character during computer video game play. Carson admitted that he might have made a mistake by sharing his real life address with the victim of his online attacks and that he did it because he thought that the woman’s husband would be man enough to face him alone. Honorable eh? Must have been a Barbarian or something. At least that’s what strong characters were called like in the old Diablo days.

1. Take 40 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they’re not looking. Focus on old ladies, fathers with young sons and hot chicks. You’ll see why.

2. Mess with the alarm clocks in the Housewares section. Set them to beep like every five minutes or so. All of them.

3. Buy some tomato juice, then make a trail out of it, leading to the tampons section.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him: “Code 3 in Housewares”. Watch what happens. Run.

5. Go to the in-house drug store and ask the lady behind the counter if she ever tried a Durex Play Vibrations and if it really felt as good for her as the commercial said it would.

6. Move the sign that says “Caution - Wet Floor” to a carpeted area.

7. Go to the camping section. Pick a tent. Set it up. Invite your friends.

8. When the employees arrive and ask you if you need some help, become desperate. Cry “Why can’t you people just leave me alone”. Real tears help.

9. Find a security camera. Stare into it for a minute or so, until you’re sure you got someone’s attention. Pick your nose. Make it into a nice and round tiny ball. Eat it.

10. Browse the display in the fishing and hunting department. Get a guy to show you a nice rifle. While holding it, tell him how depressed you are and how you simply hate the world and its people.

11. Dress up. Walk around and stare at people compassionately, like they’re all doomed. Whistle the “Mission Impossible” theme.

12. Go into the auto department. Pick the largest funnel. Spit inside of it until it drips. Success !

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people start browsing, model and beg “Pick me, pick me”

14. When there’s an announcement on the speakers, duck, assume a defensive position and cry “Oh no, it’s the voices again”

15. Get into a fitting room. Make sure you make enough noise so that people notice you going in there. Wait there for 5-7 minutes. Then yell, loudly : “Hey, there’s no toilet paper in here”

Scene 1: “The computer repair guy and the housewife in distress”. The guy’s “Legorection” might suggest that the author is lacking?

Scene 2: “The civil service joins efforts to serve and protect”. I’m growing fond of the humor of the guy, notice the camera man. LoL.

Scene 3: “Just in case the above is not enough”

The man had to deal with the Lego lawyers. Proving a rather warped sense of humor, he renamed the creation “Block structure porn”. Cute right?

One of the most influential women in current world affairs, the owner of almost one quarter of Ukraine’s energy industry, a huge mansion and no less than four private jets was born in the rather small town of Dnepropetrovsk and grew up without a father in a small apartment fighting poverty and struggling to support herself through school, ending up with a PhD in Economics. She became happily married when she was only 19, much due to a prank call from her future husband. Both poor and parenting in their first year together, they had to hold on to a couple of jobs each, one of them involving fragile looking Yulia the moving and storing of truck size tires and rims. In the late 80’s, they managed to get a loan and started their own low-cost video-rental chain, ending up with enough cash to invest in the natural gas business, which brought beautiful Yulia the presidency of United Energy Systems of Ukraine, where allegedly she messed with funds as large as 1.2 billion dollars, nowhere to be found by the Ukrainian state to this day. She went to jail for 3 weeks in 2001, but the charges were later ruled as unsubstantiated. Nice. She usually dodges any questions the media might ask about her private past or about the extent of her wealth, but from what it shows, the experts deducted that her out in the open valuables exceed 15 million dollars.

Asked about her hair, she claims that she does it herself, perhaps as a reminder of Lesya Ukrainka, one of Ukraine’s best-known female writers in the 19th century.

How did she get her name tied to a porn movie? Her adversary, Aleksei Mitrofanov, a Russian nationalist politician from the far right-wing Liberal Democratic Party decided to write the script of 26 minute porn clip, titled “Yulia”, starring Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili and Yulia Tymoshenko. Of course, they only use their surnames, but the intention is clear to any viewer. The producer said that if the film was to be successful, they would go on and make more porn with famous politicians. It wasn’t. It was bad, cheap porn anyways. Not that I’ve seen it.

Oh wow, talk about smart, rich, gorgeous, powerful …

“No problem”, Bush says, “you’ll have the shipment tomorrow, I’ll get a Hercules airplane up in the air in a matter of minutes”.
“Can I make a special request though, my friend?”, Putin asks. “We need them red… and 9 inches long… oh and yes, make them 4 inches in diameter too. Thanks man, I appreciate it”

Bush replies that shouldn’t be a problem for the US and hangs up the phone, just to call the CEO of Durex US: “Brian, buddy, we need 10 million condoms by tomorrow. Special mission. Can you do it?” “Sure, George, you got it, piece of cake”.

“We need them quite special though”, Bush continues. “They need to be 9 inches long and 4 inches in diameter. Red. And Brian, you know what? Make sure each they’re all labeled: PROUDLY MADE IN THE US. MEDIUM SIZE”

Star Wars Force FX Lightsabers

Available in red, green and blue (the green one is Yoda’s so it’s smaller), they sport a motion sensor for uber-realistic sound effects. Just to be on the safe side, buy a couple and role-play. Winner gets to be on top for the after-gift display of gratitude. Get it here.

Secret Wishes Princess Leia Slave Costume

Unless he decides to wear it himself (in which case you might wanna move on and find someone else), this will guarantee endless delight and I’m not just talking about winning “Sexiest Halloween Costume”. Includes top, briefs with skirt, belt, choker and headpiece. They make it in XS-S-M, so please don’t be fat. Or blond. Leia wasn’t. Get it from here (not-aff). Bonus: pretend you’ve actually watched Episode 6.

Star Wars Super Deluxe Darth Vader Mask

As long as you don’t make him wear it during your hot times, you should make him happy with this mask. He’ll probably just sit on the sofa and make goofy breathing noises while you’re out grocery shopping. Get it here (not-aff).

The Star Wars Miniatures Game

Since November 2007 it’s every geek’s dream to have his girlfriend bond with his passion for Star Wars and get into action with these high-quality, pre-painted plastic 60 miniature figures allowing you and your man to stage your own epic battles. Perfect for a rainy Sunday afternoon after he offers to walk the dog. Make sure you let him win though. Get them here (not-aff).

That is how I concluded the post I was talking about yesterday, kindly published by Garry Conn. Essentially it’s about this little oddity from oddee.com that I have noticed while faithfully following the submission of a well known superdigger. I just can’t stress enough that current internet users must understand once and for all that the hippie days are over, no one does anything without aiming for financial gain of some sort, no one really cares about the “user powered content” concept that was praised and hailed as a revolution in the early days of web 2.0. People, get a clue.

In this particular case (and I’m sure there’s many more that just pass around unnoticed), the aforementioned site (otherwise quite interesting and trustworthy) went on with a dirty little trick and redirected some ip classes from the article that landed up on digg to a page with deceiving similarly titled ads, in the absolutely ridiculous attempt to scoop a few dirty bucks, probably to cover up for some submission costs. (Yeah, I am being an asshole, we all know submissions from top users of digg are free, right?)

On a side note, I must have got someone really mad, because now my blog is presenting every sign of digg cancer: no submission from here, though it hit 30+ natural, non-mutual, non-shared diggs and landed on the “hot news in [topic]” sidebar in the upcoming section in the first hour ever made it past that. My latest video was naturally growing, but it was only on the sidebar for aprox. 45 minutes, while other videos were there for about 19-20 hours. Sure enough, it got buried by the digg auto bury system that doesn’t exist. I am not complaining, this is just a sample of how things work. I don’t need digg and I still love it as a leisure site. I will dare to quote Brian Clark: “But all you social media utopians out there, pay heed. Social media is a reflection of society. Dorks like Mark Zuckerberg and Kevin Rose are not about openness and idealism, no matter what load they shovel to the masses. They’re just like anyone else—susceptible to the corrupting influence of quick and unchecked power.” Enough said.

Anyways, long story short, go ahead and read the whole article, with an introduction from Garry that somewhat separates bloggers from diggers and if you want, spread the word by stumbling and sharing.

On a more serious approach, I was officially asked by Garry to write a guest post on his blog. I am thinking I should make it about digg corruption again, this time with screenshots that prove some incredible facts.
Stay tuned and have a great week.

watch number 8 here

watch number 9 here

watch number 10 here

5. In Nova Scotia

It is illegal for a person to water their lawn when it’s raining.

I was not able to research the punishment for breaking this one, but if the fine is any amount lower than $10.000 then it’s even stupider, since a citizen that waters his lawn on a rainy day is not only breaking the law, but all other laws of common sense and elementary intelligence.

Perhaps they’re just trying to stay out of trouble

4. In Toronto

You can’t drag a dead horse down Yonge St. on a Sunday.

I can understand this one very well. Yonge street was one of the world’s longest urban streets. Once again, this law is made to prevent plain stupidity evidently: why drag the horse all the way on Yonge street when nowadays it’s so easy to take the subway and two stops later dump the carcass in the Moore Park? So let’s not abolish this law, manual dead horse dragging needs to be stopped.

Drag me outta here Godfather!

3. All of Canada

At least one out of five songs played on the radio must be performed by a Canadian born artist.

Let us reflect here: Neil Young, Bryan Adams, Céline Dion, Shania Twain. Need I say more? The radio producers in Canada are sticking on the safe side and make sure they don’t even get close to breaking this law, because they seem to be playing that “Hey, Hey I don’t like your girlfriend” crap like 1000 times a day. I am not sure, but I can bet that’s a Canadian song.

Play my songs on the radio and make sure you don’t drag me around Toronto

2. In British Columbia

It is illegal to kill a Sasquatch or a BigFoot if encountered.

What about ManBearPig? or Succubus?

What’s the policy on zombies? We demand to be played on the radio with the other rotten guys

1. Anywhere in Canada

It is illegal to pay for a 26 cent item in all pennies. The limit is 25 cents (50 cents in some provinces). If you are paying for your item in nickels, then its illegal to pay for it in nickels if it’s over $5. It’s also illegal to pay for something over $10 dollars in all dimes.

I really need to get to the convenience store and tell my friend Mr. Don not to turn me in. I don’t think he likes me much anyways, because I only go to his store when I break the penny basket. Traitor.