Inspired by Dave Barry’s 1999 book, Dave Barry Turns 50 (click here to purchase) plus some of my own which you may confidently quote.
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.
A penny saved is worthless.
Never believe that your partner that you got together with as a result of him/her cheating on a significant other won’t do the same to you. They will.
Your friends love you anyway.
Life would be better lived back-wards.
There is absolutely no logical reason in the world for using Internet Explorer. I don’t even think Bill Gates cares very much about it.
Playing World of Warcraft is fine. You probably weren’t going to get laid anyway.
A few more…
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?
What is the speed of darkness?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
The IE quote is probably made because they want an update or a change.
@Steph: Hey, those are questions, not theories. You know, it’s funny enough that I’ve actually thought about the Tarzan one when I was young and my next door neighbor, the infamous George, gave me a Tarzan book and it pictured a long-hair-but-no-beard dude on the cover and i was like … wtf?
@Blu: That’s MY IE quote. I hate it dude.
ah, true enough, i will keep thinking
i hate school :))
but this is funny to read
Do take a small step off a tall building
Don’t eat yellow snow
Don’t spit into the wind
A good friend will bend over backwards for you
two in the bush are worth one in the hand
Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth
It’s not just burping it’s your bubble of enthusiasm brusting
Empty bottles make great glasses
rubbing two stick together will only piss you off
When camping the more naked you are the warmer you will be
A kink in the neck means you shouldn’t look
DON’T BUTT IN WHERE YOU DON’T BELONG!
Everyday is a new pearl of wisdom learned