When I first started my ironic depiction of Italians series I decided that if it starts to bring out the worse in people I would stop writing it.
Quite unsurprisingly, most of the feedback it got was negative, starting with idiotic offenses like “you’re really a dumbfuck i hope you get slashed next time you’re in italy” (yes, the intellectual level of Italians is rising, some of them can write nowadays) and ending with moral-leader wannabes that paternally advice me to “please reconsider your attitude towards Italians and especially foreign people”. I do appreciate the subtle humor and refined sense of irony that very few had in their comments and I just wanna let them know that it was for their kind that I wrote that.
However, just for the extended crowd, I would like to come up with a few explanations: in common spoken English the word “hate” benefits of a wide semantic value and the one I employed might be replaced with synonyms like “despite”, “dislike” or “distaste” rather than “enmity” or “animosity”. I do not believe for one second that someone that is not completely ill minded would consider that I’m suggesting any kind of racial, national or other types of hatred.
Doesn’t it seem like people take offense on this topic a little too much nowadays? I mean, can we still make Scottish jokes about them being cheap? Or at least blond jokes? Is that politically incorrect too now? I just can’t understand how someone can take that innocent Italian roast as a form of national hate whatsoever. Where are the days when we just made fun, smurked and moved on? Grow up people, get a life and stop playing moral teacher.
PS: No, I will not write any more funny stories from my Italian experiences.
Why I hate italians is retiring
May 6th, 2008 · 40 Comments · Italians
Tags: blond jokes·comments·Funny·hate Italians·ironic depiction of Italians·irony·Italians·offense·roast·sarcasm·scottish jokes·synonyms
Being a “NEWFIE” I feel I’m ours is one of the last cultures that doesn’t mind being made fun of. But yeah Ted I do fear you are very correct. Nothing is safe, even the word Newfie which was founded by Newfies for Newfies is considered a racist remark by way to many Newfoundlanders (as the spazzes demand to be called). Get over it, we coined the term, we write and publish ALL the Newfie joke books, yet when someone is programmed by us to call us Newfie and does, people freak out.
So don’t you dare call me newfie TED, even after i just used the term 6 times in my comment.
Cheers bud,
Cybrspin
Yeah, don’t dare tell me that Romanians were communists 15 years ago, I might get pissed off and call you a racist.
Scoosi… Scoosi.. bobbity boop.. bobbity bop..
heheh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxkiNAES-N4
All so interesting…Ted, you may be on to something here. I agree nothing is safe anymore. People seem to be so sensitive these day, afraid to really speak thier minds. We are all different even though we are the same and that in it’s self is funny. Why not joke? Why not find humor in a sterio types (that are oh so often true)? Ted, I am Italian and I don’t mind at all, if fact I really like your stories and think you should continue…unless your getting death threats you communist! JK MAN!
Funny, I recall about a year and a half ago you read a article in the journal that said some shit about romanians…did not take that as a joke. You were actually very worked up.
Kelsey, first of all it was two years ago. And those guys made a science out of bashing Romanians (it was “The Sun” from London), saying shit like “we don’t want that race here” and stuff like that. I think the difference between irony, sarcasm , joking and racism, ignorance and xenophobia should be quite obvious before we launch any debates of this sort.
Ted, you are extremely racist, maybe not on your blog but I have heard you in action. Quit trying to deny this.
Wow Ted - what did you do to piss Kelsey off? lol
Jesse, is it that obvious?
Ya joke ted, why dont you go back to romania where you belong
Yeah Ted it is
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”
Watch you jewels dude
Who is this, obviously very pissed off person? lol Those are some FiGhTiNg WoRdS!
Hey,
So back to the article in the Sun. I didn’t see that but when I was 10 I delivered the Toronto Sun and ended up quiting when I started reading all the stupid shit I was handing out door to door. It’s rediculous how much they blow!
After reading you I can only think that it is a pity if you are more than 10 years old..it would be a waste of brain.
Your problem if that you tried to be funny but you are not funny at all, have you all read his post regarding Italians? where the hell is the funny? you are not ironic at all, not finest humor nothing just shit, insults, even your fist reply to a comment post by anonymous was insulting and not IRONIC at all. Maybe after receiving some critics you felt ashamed by your stupid, idiot behavior.
And your other problem is that you are Romanian, not a Swedish, I mean your country is one of the most hatest in Europe (ask Italians, British or Spanish)
As I said in the other post, think just about what Italy has given to our world (If youknow a minimun of philosoply,histoy, arts and science you will know)and ask your self what Romania has done…..it is sad, isnot? yes, I think I hate Roamanis but I not pretend to be ironic for my ROmania is a garbage.
Okay. I will try and get down to your level and explain some otherwise obvious facts: the only racist here is you. The only illiterate here is you. Can you read what you wrote there? Because it took me a while to figure it out. That kind of sloppy grammar might function very well where you’re coming from but not in the rest of the world. How can you be as stupid as not to realize who is the one, out of the two of us, that insults people based upon their nationality.
On a side note: I wrote that for people that are naturally able to GET IT. Not for you. I didn’t call your ugly ass here, so take a hike, I dislike you for real, not because you’re Italian, but because you’re a monument of plain stupidity.
Bye now,
Ted
It should be a monument TO stupidity. You sound like a retarded Italian.
My bad. I’m just leaving the mistake there, so everyone can see that Romanians are (almost) just as retarded as their stinkier brothers from the West.
Truly, it’s quite unbelievable how Europeans hate each other so much. Not just that, they hate people from different regions of their very countries as well (terrone? polentone? Italians still call each other names that ARE MEANT to be insulting). The responses to Ted’s article reflect a reality that is quite harsh: human behaviour at its worst. I hate moral faggotry but the way xenophobia is promoted and encouraged in Europe is plain WRONG (and I’m not referring to Ted, who was as light as it gets at stereotyping Italians). Yes, it’s bad, it is politically incorrect and it causes a lot of harm. While in Italy, I heard a group of locals burned down a gypsy camp while the gypsies were sleeping. Italians around me celebrated this fact and nodded accordingly: “they deserved it; they were here illegally; they steal from us”. What the…? Horrible crimes are comitted all over the globe by citizens of every nation, gender, age and race, but it’s the celebration and acceptance of these criminal acts by the local population that is most concerning. You are on the verge of a civil war involving the whole continent. I think what bothers me the most is to see how Europe’s youth has incorporated the same thought patterns of the previous generations, promoting a plain miserable environment. I see the best thing you can expect from relationships between people of different countries in Europe is an uncomfortable resignation to the other’s presence if (and only if) the other person is a tourist (and therefore bringing money to the host country). The saddest part is that you feel proud or ashamed that you were born in a particular country, as if it had been a personal decision of yours. Boo.
Last but not least, Ted is a good writer; he’s quite witty and the way he’s responded to your attacks are hilarious, which made the whole post worth it.
European “Union” my ass.
Ted, what is your nationality?
Cristina, marry me.
Sophia, I am a world citizen if you will allow this expression, but my official nationality is Romanian.
eh Cristina, Cristina…a free advice, do not stop at the tip of the iceberg thinking now you know all you need to know, look deeper. otherwise those can be read as arrogant conclusions based on nothing, just a brief glance.
Europe is divided ? and the rest? ) don’t tell the Africa is united, USA, Asia, Oceania… maybe its just a historical process ?
Sorry Ted for not replying directly to you, after all you are the host. and thanks for saying Brothers from the West, I always considered Romanians our brothers in the east.
Larevedere foarte nibun Ted (kidding)
hello I am from croatia and i like your articles and your opinion about italian bastards. they are definitely most ignorant and most disgusting nation in the world (all credits to their food and some vines)
cheers and keep this blog running
Ted, as a Romanian, you have courage. The fact that you are Romanian explains why you hate Italians. Please don’t talk about deodorants, remember that you are Romanian. Please don’t show your stupid hate towards my country; remember that we are welcoming many of your Romanian friends and fellow-countrymen, granting them a quality of life much superior to the one between donkeys, goats and chickens they live in your own country. Basing on what I see in Rome, I could say that most Romanian are criminals, drunk and dirty. But I do not, people are not all the same. Be less envious and get a life
How Ignorant you are Ted…
How can you write offensive shit, and call it “irony”?
You’ve only to say “Sorry, I’m a stupid racist”, no needs more to explain. You’ve no reason to indicate italians in the way you do!
P.S. I never saw an italian woman with no-well shaved legs. Maybe you live in the Jungle???
Okay. I will try and get down to Ted’s level…
Ted, you don’t want italians here, isn’t it?
Good.
So, encrypt your blog with a password and have a good chat with Cristina and other so-called-women like her or select your fellows in some other racist blogs.
We will really appreciate you’ll try to reply in italian.. so it’ll be our turn to (italian starts, Ted, are you ready???) prenderti per il culo.
Sei rumeno, e con tutti i problemi che ti ritrovi, sia culturali che nazionali, costretto a vivere aggrappandoti ad altre civiltà, ti metti pure a criticare gli altri.
Vergognati!
E ringrazia che in Italia ci sia qualcuno che vi ha accolti e tutelati… anche se davvero pochi di voi se lo meritano veramente.
Can you understand what i wrote? No?!?!?!? Oh…. what a poor level is yours.
You are ridiculous.
Davide, dude, I love it when Italians come read this, don’t get me wrong.
godsake
I can see why Ted wouldn’t want to write anymore about it.
It was funny and it was kinda ironic and OK itlaians have a bit of a right to get offended but you’d think they’d know not ot take it so personaly.
It’s not like all of italy was on the plain.
That was funny though
i hate italians
-self pittying ,greasy slime balls
Ted, as Italian I am tired to see Rumanian’s everywhere in my country, they are criminals,drug dealers and pimp.
@ Vittoria: Ted cannot consider these facts (see, I wrote “facts” and not “stereotypes”). He will never admit how Romanians are considered in the World, altrough he’ll be obligated to say a Romanian is inferior to an Italian, and so he’ll be obligated to say Sorry for all italians he has provucated (and this is his only target: provucation).
Maybe his next blog will talk anout negers, and he will never admit he is racist, but he is only talking ironically about stereotypes…
I think he has a little pair of balls… he remembers me Berlusconi.
And, obiously, only a stupid can find funny his description of Italians. Ted has a puny sense of humero, and he does not know the meaning of the word “ironic”, and he does not understand how much offensive is the “thing” he called “Irony”…. nobosy is laughing, but he continue to say he was “ironic”:
this is the reason why I said Ursu has to back school and reading some books.
I do not like italian food, is boring, only pasta, pasta and more pasta, they should eat more omega3, fish and vitamins, so they will realize that they have a brain, they have the brain full of fat and pasta.
Ahahah, sorry Sonia, but now you are wrong. Ahahaha!
:D 
)
What are you talking about??!!?
Do you really think that italians eats only pasta?
Our typical meal is composed by 3 parts:
a Prime dish (Pasta, but it can be also a Soup or Minestrone).
a second dish (Beef or Fish, cooked in a delicious italian way, and you got A LOT of italian ways
a third dish (Vegetables, cooked or crude)
Usually, we end the meal with a fruit and a coffe (italian’s coffe, not the insipid cup full of black broth you usually found abroad and you misteriously call “coffee”. ) , but somebody like also some liquor that we confidentailly call “digestivo”.
Obviously, you’re able to say you don’t like italian’s food… but i think you write this ’cause you had problems with a the particular italian you wrote in the other topic, Mr. Annibale, so everything is italian is shit, because you need to destroy Mr, Annibale. You have all the good reasons but… if you hate so much italians and all comes from Italy, why have you given born to a child with an Italian man? Don’t you find it incoerent?
So, I think you hate italians ’cause this Mr. Annibale was a terrible man.
Italians eats only pasta, no fish and no Omega3??!?!
:D 
AHAHAHA!!!
FUCK ROMANIANS! How much they hurt my business you don’t know those little voleurs, those scoundrels, those scammers…
It is just I do not really like pasta, because I find it boring, it taste like nothing like bread, I like the sauces but I prefer to eat more fish and vegetables or meat instead of pasta. How can yor produce so much pasta??? you must have fields and fields of production. Sorry I went to Italy one to Naples, where that man was from and I did not like it because it was full of rubbish and rats, so I was quite shocked. I prefer Holland it is cleaner and I prefer Dutch food. Saluti!!!
Ted, your answers to critics reveal it is really you acting as a moral teacher… You cannot expect to walk away “unharmed” after throwing shit on someone. Take care
@ Sonia: nobody will force you to eat pasta… Please go ahead and keep eating omega3, in silence… Thanks
based on the -why I hate italians is retiring-,
by reading it, it shows how your hatred is still around; you definitely have a problem that is way bigger than the common problems with all of us human beings (including you of course), around the world; this is also why the world is having always problems, also because of people like you: there’s is nothing that makes you a better person than others, your attitude needs help, it’s the attitude of an ignorant with that very old mentality that wants to find always something to try to be superior to others, a necessity, therefore you have problems of inferiority, a very limited mentality; I could also be somebody from, to say, england, or India, it doesn’t change anything: your attitude will always disgust somebody in this world (if you had a problem with some italian person, I’ts not that very smart to throw it on all Italians); If you belong to a country that had that enough luck to be superior to others, that comes from the will of God, not from some bunch of human beings that gathered together with similar characteristics and variables which, for some casual or Superior Will, again, had the luck, or mis-fortune, to work their way out to better living, etc. Think about it, if you have some Italian Brain, and not that silly-dum what-not country mentality your from? Got the idea?
i suggest you get a life ted, and while you’re at it also a history book.
you’d be amazed by the things you ignore
I AGREE 100% with you about Italians. I despise them and I am Italian. I am in the procesd of writing a short book (maybe use some humor) about how phony, insensitive and strange they really are. I think the majority of their thinking, like the Iranians and Muslims comes from the OLD mindset and until all these old people die off their mindsets won’t change. What is interesting is the new generation have been instilled with all the values, thinking of the older people and that will be very difficult to change. If I were to tell you some of my stories of my dad’s family you would think you were reading a HORROR novel. I’m glad to see that I am not the only one that thinks they are a strange breed of people. I am ashamed to tell people I am Italian and I have maybe 4 Italian friends. I refuse to hang around them. I can tell from reading the comments that I will be masacured if I ever publish my book.
‘weel educated european’ ? Iff you is a ‘weel’ edukateed Europeen I wouldhh bi writhing beter don’t you sink?
From *my* experience (yeah, read this you ignorants, I am asserting about my own freaking experience; I am not saying anything about _all_ or even _most_ of Italians, right?) I just can agree with you Ted. And it really doesn’t matter if he’s Romanian, Mexican or whatever. It’s his opinion, his point of view and period. One can agree or disagree with *his* point of view but saying he’s a racist is a bit… too much?
Yes, my opinion may be biased cause I think Ted got some good points, and if I get to choose, I would avoid Italians (especially the older ones) as much as possible. Why olders you wonder? The name Benito means anything for you? Everyone hates Adolf but many people forget about the other a**hole, Benito. Yes, Italians (or Romans) did and had good things… But I am not quite sure this is quite recent…
I’m getting too serious in here, so let me remedy this… Scoosi… Scoosi… bobbity boop… bobbity bop…