Ted’s Game

She’s 48. She’s smoking hot. Between her powerful, intelligent look, avant-garde choices of wardrobe, a romantic and mysterious past and a spoof porn-and-politics 26 minute film leaked on-line she’s probably one of the most notorious figures in current world politics.

One of the most influential women in current world affairs, the owner of almost one quarter of Ukraine’s energy industry, a huge mansion and no less than four private jets was born in the rather small town of Dnepropetrovsk and grew up without a father in a small apartment fighting poverty and struggling to support herself through school, ending up with a PhD in Economics. She became happily married when she was only 19, much due to a prank call from her future husband. Both poor and parenting in their first year together, they had to hold on to a couple of jobs each, one of them involving fragile looking Yulia the moving and storing of truck size tires and rims. In the late 80’s, they managed to get a loan and started their own low-cost video-rental chain, ending up with enough cash to invest in the natural gas business, which brought beautiful Yulia the presidency of United Energy Systems of Ukraine, where allegedly she messed with funds as large as 1.2 billion dollars, nowhere to be found by the Ukrainian state to this day. She went to jail for 3 weeks in 2001, but the charges were later ruled as unsubstantiated. Nice. She usually dodges any questions the media might ask about her private past or about the extent of her wealth, but from what it shows, the experts deducted that her out in the open valuables exceed 15 million dollars.

Asked about her hair, she claims that she does it herself, perhaps as a reminder of Lesya Ukrainka, one of Ukraine’s best-known female writers in the 19th century.

How did she get her name tied to a porn movie? Her adversary, Aleksei Mitrofanov, a Russian nationalist politician from the far right-wing Liberal Democratic Party decided to write the script of 26 minute porn clip, titled “Yulia”, starring Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili and Yulia Tymoshenko. Of course, they only use their surnames, but the intention is clear to any viewer. The producer said that if the film was to be successful, they would go on and make more porn with famous politicians. It wasn’t. It was bad, cheap porn anyways. Not that I’ve seen it.

Oh wow, talk about smart, rich, gorgeous, powerful …